Ok. So. There was an
election and the blue wave was monstrous and real and made me cry. We were
disappointed about Beto, and Gillum and Stacy Abrams, but all in all, we
fucking crushed.
And I was definitely going
to write about it. I even had the title of the post picked out:
“We must meet
disappointment with power and joy” Beto and the Blue Tidal Wave.
(It’s a Beto quote that I
stole from Stephanie Wittels on twitter forever ago. It’s on a sticky note at
my desk at work.)
However, more news kept
happening. And then it was Thanksgiving. And I kind of just needed a minute.
And I was thinking.
I’ve been doing a lot of
thinking.
For people that may not know me, my Hamilton obsession is pretty intense. I saw the show when it came to LA.
Twice.
 |
| Time #1: Me and Momma |
 |
| Time #2: Solo and sobbing |
I know all the music, of
course, and I want to know about everything LMM does. In a I like to watch him on Ellen way, not a
creepy stalker way. I was just listening to a podcast that he was a guest on,
and I almost started crying. In a coffee shop.
Unacceptable.
The reason I bring this
up, other than just enjoying having an excuse to talk about Lin is because I’ve
been thinking about the fact that it took him 7 years to create Hamilton.
It took him almost 3 years
to write 2 songs until Tommy Kail told him to get his shit together and start
writing if he ever wanted this thing about the founding fathers to be anything.
My brother is my Tommy and has told me to get my shit together many times. It
works in the short term.
But then.. I don’t know. I
get distracted. I let his deadlines wiz by, and I decide I’m going to write a movie. Or a pilot. Or a play. Or a research book. Or a sex book, but it’s a novel maybe. Or I’m going to give it
all up and work in politics. At a media company. Or for a campaign. Or I’ll
write about it.
Being in my head is
exhausting sometimes.
The point of all of the
thinking and the Lin and the brother and the frustration with where I’m at in my
career and feeling some pressure about turning 26, is that I’m on the hunt for
something that sparks something in my brain and overtakes it completely. Something
that I like enough to do for 7 years.
This isn’t really about
politics, but this is our blog and it’s what’s on my mind. And I do know I want
to do something political. Or at least partly. Like maybe I want to be Aaron
Sorkin. Only funnier. Like all the funny parts of The West Wing, without all
the shootings and kidnappings.
Or maybe I want to write a
play.
So what job is political
and about women and I get to write and also maybe food?
My brother says the editor
of The New Yorker.
He’s not wrong, but that's
a pretty big swing. And David seems to have things mostly under control over
there.
I’m on the hunt for
something. It may be a little unrealistic to be hoping to find something to
write that I love that much. But I think I’ll be able to. If my Hamilton
obsession has taught me anything, it’s that I think words are magic. Which is
embarrassing to say, but it’s true.
God help and forgive me,
I want to build something
that’s gonna outlive me.
I just have to find it.
