Jacksonville

Me reading the news

I really wanted to write about Beto this morning. About how he’s inspiring people all over Texas, and the country. I was going to link to the video that everyone has already seen where he talks about kneeling during the national anthem and about how people see him following Obama and speaking at the 2020 convention as an up and comer in the party. And how amazing it is to have someone aside from a 70+ white man. I love you Joe, but I want younger women and people of color to be the new face of my party.

Yesterday I took the day off from the news. I didn’t really check Twitter and my entertainment breaking news emails go to my phone, but don’t pop up like the more my boss is emailing me emails.

So I didn’t hear about the shooting in Jacksonville until this morning. And I hate that I can’t use The Good Place gifs  to talk about Jacksonville right now.

So far in these posts, even the ones from high school, Alisa and I hadn’t said what town we were from. The fact that it was Florida was pretty obvious from our fury at Rubio and Voldemort being elected governor. Sidebar: he better not fucking win his Senate race. Go look up Bill Nelson, he’s pretty cool. He was an astronaut.

We’re from Jacksonville. And there was a shooting there yesterday. And two people and the gunman died. The tweets were really scary warning people to stay away from downtown in all caps. This guy, who was white so he has a mental illness and definitely isn’t a terrorist, was in this video game tournament and had gotten out in an earlier round, and then he shot the people still playing.

They were calling it a mass shooting., What makes it a mass shooting? Is it the number of people shot or killed or just how upsetting it is? I could, and probably should, talk about how many people are shot every day, your banal murders, that don’t get reported on. But I’m not there yet. I’m trying to process these feelings that this happened in my hometown.

The worst part, well not the worst part obviously, but what feels so gross about it is that this JUST happened in Parkland. Parkland, Florida. And those high school kids were so amazing when they went to Tallahassee to try to make change and confront their elected officials. And Marco Rubio got credit for doing his fucking job and having a town hall. And when they pressed him about gun control and making it a little harder for people to get guns, he seemed convinced and agreed with him. Then he immediately flip flopped because he’s a garbage person and flip flops are super common in Florida. You can even wear them to dinner, much to the chagrin of my mother.

I apologize for that joke. But I’m really…

Like we just went through this in Florida. I can’t get past that. It feels kind of hopeless at this point that these young activists inspired people and put on the March for Our Lives where that girl literally puked and kept talking, and there are still shootings.

I really need someone to explain to me what is wrong with background checks. Like honestly. What’s wrong with a waiting period? Why are bump stocks necessary? Do we need bullets to fly easier? And saying that you’re a hunter is whatever. And saying that you need the thing to make the bullets quieter because it hurts your ears when you’re killing animals is gross. You’re valuing your comfort hunting over other people’s lives. And don’t say you don’t.

None of this is especially helpful, and I don’t really know what else to say. In truth, I haven’t even talked to Alisa about it yet. I don’t really know what to say about this thing that feels like a big deal but also not at all a big deal. The President hasn’t said anything (lol) it wasn’t on the cover of the paper. And yes John McCain was a great public servant and we should care that he died.

But these people died, too.

In my hometown. In our town.

Stay strong Jacksonville.

I love you

- Montana